
I have noticed something about when people ask you what you did the night before. I mean, we all talk about the fun activities of the previous night if we're excited about them (and they're socially decent conversation topics- you'd never openly boast about pulling off the perfect murder) whether or not our chatting partner has asked about it.
But there are cases when people actually do ask. And this happens if 1)you're lousy at conversation, 2)the asker knows what you've done and how it relates to what you've told them you were gonna do... this is especially problematic when both parties know that inclusion was decided against for whatever reason, and 3)you know that you really want to be asked about what you did rather than bringing it up yourself.
Case number one happens most often (and increasingly so since the passing of William F Buckley, Jr.) because not everyone is interested in conversation. Some are extra chatty and somehow hopelessly plain with the topics and syntax. Other people just ask and then don't listen because they ask all the same questions every time they have to speak. It happens everyday. Oh gosh, I always say, I was just sitting at home with my notebook and binoculars, but I was NOT planning the perfect murder!
Case number two should only be practiced by investigators or cross-examining lawyers, but sadly it often passes for keeping-in-touch between 'friends.' I think that we're in bad shape when we have doubts about our closest associates, but part of information control is riding the line between distortion (A-Okay!) and deceit (often a no-no) because the number of 'friends' who'd stick-out the relationship if they knew the precise nature of our every thought and action would diminish rapidly. And you wouldn't want to be friends with the loyalists who'd think it was just fine that you're a klepto who daydreams about diamond heists.
Case number three passes as polite rather than braggadocious. If you could just jump into the room all, "GUESS WHAT I DID!!!" and have people mirror your affected enthusiam like, "Gollllly, what could it be!?" then you wouldn't have to ask them first. As it is, you ask and hope they have the decency to answer concisely, sparing you the morbid details. When the hint is not grasped, here's a handy technique:
1) Ask "what'd you guys do last night, eh?"
2) Do not listen.
3) Nod and say "mm-hmm... uh-huh... neat"
4) Then start in on what you want to say whether or not their story has finished.
It works every time!
Anyways- Yesterday night Kasha and I were just sitting at home watching Ghost Stories on the tube and turning left-overs into salads. We actually talked about the upcoming weekend weather and the possibility of rain. Next we were brainstorming what boxes we should use to store winter clothes. Ok... boring enough for you?

And man oh man! The pickle's first kicks made Cedar Point look like River Rouge! We were geeking out all over the place. Thinking about it after the fact did nothing to lessen the impact. I got a real bang out of it, and can recapture the moment (along with its accompanying joy) whenever I want to! It's like your first kiss on steroids.
But every new day rising spells the death knell of yesternight, and with the pickle as my new pinnacle of kicking, I've decided to lay to rest some celebrated kickers of days gone past.
JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME

BRUCE LEE

A TRIBE CALLED QUEST

Yes Ya Can!
PELE

STEVEN SEAGAL


Little know fact about MR Seagall: He was born in Lansing, Michigan. Also, isn't he cute with that freaking panda! Gawsh!
JASON HANSON

CHUCK NORRIS
Last but not least, it's Chuck Norris. Actually, he is least. I've never seen any of his films and would rather get dental work done than watch Walker, Texas Ranger. What's with punctuating titles? It would still be the best show ever if they'd named it She Wrote (about) Murder.

But I am fascinated with the legendary status that Chuck Norris has attained. He's like David Hasslehoff in this regard: people who do not enjoy his work but are aware of it have a lot of good fun hyping the celebrity that came out of that work. Also, both guys made the life decision to look dazzling in jeans throughout the decades. Bravo!
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